Everybody has played the game “Gossip” at some point in their life. You know, when you’re at those ridiculously awkward boy/girl parties for the first time – ever – and you all sit around in a circle and whisper something in your partner’s ear, and then they whisper what you said etc.? Ok, I’ll start. I would whisper something like “Sally has on pink shoes.” And 20 people later the phrase comes out something like “Sally’s pregnant.” Yeah, kinda like that.
Ok, my point.
I was blog stalking (something I’m addicted to lately) because I’m constantly striving to be better. Not better than anyone else, but to broaden my horizons and not be such a Negative Nancy all the time. So I stumbled upon this crazy funny blog, here, and she totally copied a post from one of her blog rolls, who copied a post, who copied a post – you get the idea, not going to draw it out for you. So, me being the young impressionable naïve person that I am, I just had to do this! It’s a post on “X number of things I’ve learned as a Mom” or something to that sort. Because I’m a team player, and a sucker for clever, witty women, I just had to copy and be that blogger.
So here goes, here are the 24 things I’ve learned about being a Mom.
1. Privacy? What’s that?
2. When you’re Mom tells you “One day you’ll wish you could take naps” – listen to her!
3. 4th grade math is hard.
4. Kids give the best hugs. Ever.
5. Inside this body lives a gi-normous Momma grizzly bear, with fur and everything!
6. Not all boobs produce milk. Sometimes you have to have a backup plan from preventing your child from starvation.
7. Mutli-tasking is an art form.
8. Childproof bottle lids are not childproof if you leave the lid off.
9. Ketchup is one of the major food groups.
10. I now cannot pee without singing “Tinkle Tinkle Little Star”.
11. If you hurt my child, I will hunt you down and make you eat worms, I don’t care if you are only 3 feet tall!
12. I now know the international sign language sign for “poop”.
13. Baby gates were my “break” even if I was only 6 inches away.
14. A kid’s giggle is incredibly contagious.
15. Barney should be shot.
16. The best thing to put you to sleep, is your sleeping baby.
17. I miss my rocking chair.
18. If he wants to be “Harry Potter” 3 years in a row for Halloween, that’s OK.
19. You write your own “instruction manual” with kids. They aren’t provided.
20. Sometimes its fun to wear 3 shirts, a pair of shorts over our pants and un-matching shoes.
21. Thanks to television, my son used to think that Enterprise Rent-a-Car would come pick you up if you simply did not feel like driving.
22. Fit throwing is a great energy release. (For me, not for him)
23. I am the best dancer in his eyes.
24. He is the best kid – in my eyes.
I’m so in love with my ‘Tony Baines’.