Tenny Runners

My memory is a little sketchy when it comes to my childhood.  I think it started when my older sister tried to convince me to slide down the laundry shoot at the ripe old age of 4.  Apparently I had worn out my welcome.  Any how … or it could be when she fed me my Mom’s face cream promising that it was whipped cream … ok sorry – off track.  Circling back around for a second go.  And...begin.  My memory is a little sketchy when it comes to my childhood – however I think most kids can remember their very first pair of tennis shoes that they got to pick out all on their own.  Mine?  Oh, yeah mine were the pink  ‘Miss Piggy’ with Velcro!  Yep, I had “cool” written all over me! 

I’m sure I am not the only person who thought new shoes made you run faster either.  You can act like you aren’t nodding and agreeing with me right now, but it’s a fact.  It’s some code written in kid gibberish somewhere.  “All new shoes make you run faster and jump farther”.  However, this tends to not be the case as an adult.  There is some part of that little kid in me that wants to believe that new shoes will not only make my butt look smaller, but they will also make me less accident prone and miraculously allow me to run f-a-s-t-e-r (or at least keep a decent pace).  My point is, I recently received a shiny new pair of shoes for my birthday and they are, quite possibly, the most comfortable things I’ve ever worn.   There is a downside.  I still can’t run.  My knees are benefiting quite well, however my speed, form and ego are seeing no immediate results.

I realize I am not going to be a runner overnight. I also understand and expected there to be some growing time – you know, become one with the shoes, pavement and shin splints.  Although it would be nice if I could manage to do a full mile in a run and not have to stop drop and pass out every 30 seconds.  I will add that, what really bothers me is when most people say they have started running and complain that they can only run a mile in 12 minutes.  ‘Ahem’ I’m sorry, but I’d give my left ear to run a mile in 12 minutes.  The only productive thing I’ve done in 12 minutes time is poop!  Oops, off track again.

I guess I’m stuck in my childhood thinking that new shoes are going to “fix” the problem.  However, the real problem is the fact that I’m 33, overweight, prone to falling down a lot and on special requests only – popping my hip out.  I was secretly wishing that my new shoes would spread some of that “Miss Piggy” magic that was so effective when I was 4.