Thursday, July 23, 2009

THAT just happened

My little promise, 4 or 5 blogs ago, to workout everyday hasn’t really panned out. Why? Well because, my slothfulness has surfaced again and I’m riding it out. You know, the calm before the storm? I figure this huge surge of energy is about to come and then I’ll be able to make up for wasted time. Anyhow, I am relatively happy to report that I will officially be back on the 8 to 5 grind come Monday (insert cheering crowd). I’m sorry, no more whiny rants about this economy being an Employer’s market (although I’m going to stand by that statement) since I settled for significantly less income than what I was used to making.
Yes, I now will be able to establish my importance on Facebook with my new job title. It’s the minor details that I get excited about. However, I did come to the harsh realization that I will no longer be overindulged by the luxury of working from home and spending time with my son. I somehow kept hanging on to the hope that all the Medicare contractors out there would be knocking down my door, begging me to audit their claims. I took a very large humble pill this morning and reality is sinking in.
The only closeness I came to today in regards to humiliation was my urine test that I had to take (I didn’t study and that in of itself made me nervous). This by the book gentleman was very specific in his instructions when I went in. He took my purse from me and locked it up, then insisted I watch his every move to ensure he wasn’t contaminating the evidence. He sent me in to do my business and while I was pleased with the result, I didn’t realize he was standing right outside of the door listening to everything that was going on – I should have yelled “That’s where I put that gold…I’ve been looking for that!” but I wasn’t on my witty retort game yet this morning. So I finished up, and just as I was going to flush the toilet he yelled through the door “Don’t flush!” Good God, he scared me so bad I tooted and this bathroom is huge and it echoes! I felt my face turn about 47 shades of red and stopped dead in my tracks; teeth clenched, eyes closed and held my breath. “Please God don’t let him have good hearing, please God don’t let him have good hearing.” I quietly walked towards the door and unlocked it – praying that I didn’t leave a scented present. I examined his expression and without missing a beat, he said “I tend to do that to a lot of people”. Oh for the love of Pete! You have got to be kidding me! He heard it and felt the need to comment! I fronted a fake smile and let him take in the freshness (if any).
I claimed my purse, signed a couple of papers and went on my merry way. It took about 20 minutes to calm down from the complete and udder mortification that I had endured. So, happy day. I’m employed and gas-free, I’d say that’s a pretty successful day on my part!


  1. Oh that's great...where did you get a job? You can make money at this blogging thing and your posts are good enough for it.

  2. Here I sit all broken hearted, Came to shi_, but only farted.


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