WARNING: Original Thinking and Subject Matter is Used in This Blog Post

Dear Un-original Person,

I have noticed, on several occasions, that you write almost exactly like I do.  It’s rare to have so much in common with someone you don’t even know, nor haven't even met.  I was delighted to see that my witty retorts and one-liners have somehow made their way onto your website.  However, I must have misplaced the email, letter, Facebook, Blog Comment or Fax that surely you sent asking permission to reproduce?  I’m a little dismayed, because you are a fairly popular writer and it just doesn’t seem like you would stoop to such a low level as to take someone else’s ideas or thoughts and morph them into your own.  Gosh, I just love my bubble so much, and, well you know how it is when someone invades your space – you tend to go a little ‘nutty’ and you kind of invited yourself into my bubble and simply take what isn’t yours. Where's the creative integrity in that? Are you so dense that you don't think what I've written isn't dated and posted? Hello!

I left a comment on your blog, but you deleted it.  I must have hit a nerve.  Sorry about that.  Too bad your followers weren't able to see how your creative remarks make their way onto your blog. I look forward to your apology or excuse.  In the interim, I’ve posted another blog just for you!  I hope you enjoy it.  Feel free to use this as your own as well.  After all, I’m here for YOU! Or so you must think.

Sincerely (and Fuck you very much),

Spanky

WARNING: SARCASM HAS TAKEN OVER AND IT MIGHT GET UGLY

Ding-Ding-Ding!  Tell them what they’ve won Johnny!!!!

Well Spanky, they’ve won an all-inclusive trip to Plagiarism Island. Yes, they will spend the next 30 seconds reading all about Plagiarism and why it’s important to not do it!  But wait! There’s more!  Should they choose to enter the ‘bonus round’ and to be so bold as to copy your work again – they could win the smackdown and humiliation of a lifetime!!  **crowd cheers** Yes, they could win an all expense paid trip to your blog, while you single-handedly expose them to all of their readers for the fake that they really are! **crowd cheers again**  Are you ready to play, “Don’t FUCK With Spanky?”

…YEP, STILL PISSED

pla·gia·rism

   [pley-juh-riz-uhm, -jee-uh-riz-]

–noun

1.

the unauthorized use or close imitation of the language and thoughts of another author and the representation of themes one's own ORIGINAL work.

2.

something used and represented in this manner.

I am not an establish author.  I don’t have copyrights posted all over my blog, nor do I possess an insane amount of readers, critics or what have you.  However, everything I spill onto this blog, regardless of state-or-mind, stem from my own ORIGINAL thoughts. Wow, imagine that. A real live original thought that wasn't lifted off someone else's page.

I didn’t sit around and dig through other works of literature, poetry, forums, articles, comic books or coloring books and think, “Hey, I can pass this off as my own idea”.  Because, boys and girls, you can get into trouble for that.  Not sure if you were aware of that or not.

I could be vindictive and bitter and spew piss and vinegar all over the place (excuse me while I wipe this stain off my page), but instead I’ve chosen to be helpful.  I will now give this person a list of suggestions that they may choose to utilize in the event they feel the urge to call my comments and one-liners their own in the future.

It’s simple, so pay attention:

1.     Find a box

2.     Climb in the box

3.     Climb out of the box

4.     Now, think outside the fucking box!!!

(Results may vary)

If you follow these (easy to understand) steps, you too could be a great (an ORIGINAL thinker and ) writer. 

This suggestion is free!

No animals were harmed while writing this blog. However, there is one bitch I'd like to kick into next week!

My gift to you!

Go swallow a pencil, you certainly aren't using it for your own creativity!

And have a nice day.