Friday, August 20, 2010

WARNING: Original Thinking and Subject Matter is Used in This Blog Post

Dear Un-original Person,

I have noticed, on several occasions, that you write almost exactly like I do.  It’s rare to have so much in common with someone you don’t even know, nor haven't even met.  I was delighted to see that my witty retorts and one-liners have somehow made their way onto your website.  However, I must have misplaced the email, letter, Facebook, Blog Comment or Fax that surely you sent asking permission to reproduce?  I’m a little dismayed, because you are a fairly popular writer and it just doesn’t seem like you would stoop to such a low level as to take someone else’s ideas or thoughts and morph them into your own.  Gosh, I just love my bubble so much, and, well you know how it is when someone invades your space – you tend to go a little ‘nutty’ and you kind of invited yourself into my bubble and simply take what isn’t yours. Where's the creative integrity in that? Are you so dense that you don't think what I've written isn't dated and posted? Hello!

I left a comment on your blog, but you deleted it.  I must have hit a nerve.  Sorry about that.  Too bad your followers weren't able to see how your creative remarks make their way onto your blog. I look forward to your apology or excuse.  In the interim, I’ve posted another blog just for you!  I hope you enjoy it.  Feel free to use this as your own as well.  After all, I’m here for YOU! Or so you must think.

Sincerely (and Fuck you very much),
Spanky





WARNING: SARCASM HAS TAKEN OVER AND IT MIGHT GET UGLY



Ding-Ding-Ding!  Tell them what they’ve won Johnny!!!!



Well Spanky, they’ve won an all-inclusive trip to Plagiarism Island. Yes, they will spend the next 30 seconds reading all about Plagiarism and why it’s important to not do it!  But wait! There’s more!  Should they choose to enter the ‘bonus round’ and to be so bold as to copy your work again – they could win the smackdown and humiliation of a lifetime!!  **crowd cheers** Yes, they could win an all expense paid trip to your blog, while you single-handedly expose them to all of their readers for the fake that they really are! **crowd cheers again**  Are you ready to play, “Don’t FUCK With Spanky?”



…YEP, STILL PISSED





pla·gia·rism

   [pley-juh-riz-uhm, -jee-uh-riz-]

–noun

1.

the unauthorized use or close imitation of the language and thoughts of another author and the representation of themes one's own ORIGINAL work.

2.

something used and represented in this manner.



I am not an establish author.  I don’t have copyrights posted all over my blog, nor do I possess an insane amount of readers, critics or what have you.  However, everything I spill onto this blog, regardless of state-or-mind, stem from my own ORIGINAL thoughts. Wow, imagine that. A real live original thought that wasn't lifted off someone else's page.



I didn’t sit around and dig through other works of literature, poetry, forums, articles, comic books or coloring books and think, “Hey, I can pass this off as my own idea”.  Because, boys and girls, you can get into trouble for that.  Not sure if you were aware of that or not.



I could be vindictive and bitter and spew piss and vinegar all over the place (excuse me while I wipe this stain off my page), but instead I’ve chosen to be helpful.  I will now give this person a list of suggestions that they may choose to utilize in the event they feel the urge to call my comments and one-liners their own in the future.


It’s simple, so pay attention:


1.     Find a box

2.     Climb in the box

3.     Climb out of the box

4.     Now, think outside the fucking box!!!

(Results may vary)



If you follow these (easy to understand) steps, you too could be a great (an ORIGINAL thinker and ) writer. 

This suggestion is free!

No animals were harmed while writing this blog. However, there is one bitch I'd like to kick into next week!

My gift to you!



Go swallow a pencil, you certainly aren't using it for your own creativity!

And have a nice day.




10 comments:

  1. I am shocked and amazed that someone would actually take the wit and sarcastic humor from your blog and Facebook page and use it as their own work. Doesn't anyone have any integrity anymore? I smell jealousy. The nerve of some lazy, unimaginative person. There's not so much as a credit given for the spontaneous wit and dry one-liners this person used as if they were her own. (Does the Dr. Laura remark look familiar to anyone?) I have a suggestion for the blogger with sticky fingers...Get off your ass, dust the cobwebs out of your sorry little brain and start thinking for yourself (if you are capable). It's almost pathetic to think someone would use another person's work and try to pass it off as their own. It has been happening for centuries, but come on. Didn't they realize your blog was time and date stamped? I'm in your camp Spanky. Keep your cool and know that there are those of us out there who see you for who you are. I for one love your blog and appreciate that you are a creative, sharp-tongued, and absolutely hilarious woman who isn't afraid to tell it like it is. Right on sister, Plagiarism Sucks! And so does the person who is fooling herself and looking like an idiot to all the rest. I feel better now.

    ReplyDelete
  2. nbnimble - was that your Dr. Laura remark referring to my Dr. Laura remark? If there was a similar comment to mine somewhere else, I can assure you it was purely coincidental. I'm not sure if you noticed but Dr. Laura is kind of a hot news topic at the moment so it is safe to say, she is on the minds of a lot of smart ass commenters.

    ReplyDelete
  3. @ Cul-de-sac-ed: THAT is funny! I snorted when I read that. And no, you weren't the "commenter" - that IS coincidental.

    @ nbnimble: Thanks. Your words are kind. See? Venting is GOOD!

    ReplyDelete
  4. E.X.C.E.L.L.E.N.T. venting.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Most people cannot come up with an original thought of their own. People try to be witty but 99% of it is shit that has been used a thousand time. I read your blog religously Ms. Spankybutt and you, my dear, are fuckin' hilllarry-ous. I knew your pappy before you were born and you have the same "don't give a rat's ass" attitude that he possessed and he absolutely took no shit off anyone or thing walking or breathing. Only difference is, your thoughts and ideas flow out of your head faster than most people can think them up, and you have absolutely no problem with putting them down in words on paper or on a blog. People that "borrow" your ideas and lines are worthless peices of shit at the most....your pappy would have said, "fuck em'!"

    ReplyDelete
  6. C'mon. A hint at who we're mad at? A tease? A taste?

    ReplyDelete
  7. I've heard of bloggers stealing material, couldn't really believe it... Wow. And this person signed her (I'm assuming it's a she based on your screaming insults) posts as if they were hers? Oh-my-god, you're not talking about me are you? Shit, I know sometimes I walk out of bars and the next morning I "find" stuff in my purse or lying next to my bed in some hotel room but have I also been "borrowing" somebody's craft? ツ

    Don't know what I'd do if I found my shit somewhere else, my shit stays in MY toilet.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Ells: I'm a FIRM believer in Karma. And she owes me. So I'm going to let the copycat have this one. The next one, she'll get karma.

    Molly: Here! Here!

    Miss Nikki: No, it wasn't you. You are far too classy to be that person.

    ReplyDelete

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