Saturday, August 14, 2010

I Call Bullshit

Sometimes I hear or see something that gets me completely riled up.  Again, given my sympathetic and timid nature, you cannot possibly see me lose my cool.  I know.  But there are occasions that do make me want to run around screaming, WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?

Buckle up kids, Mommy didn’t take her ‘Fukitol’ today and she’s ‘on one’.

I don’t discuss politics.  I just don’t.  I would rather have a discussion with my fucking dog than to attempt to vocalize my views and opinions on our governmental issues with people.  It’s not because I’m scared.  I just think some things are personal and whether or not I believe in the Health Care Reform, or Obama or The Bushes or Social Security issues or the War, it’s just my opinion and I’m not going to argue with someone who doesn’t see it like I do.  That’s like debating on whether or not the sky is blue or mahogany. 

In addition to this, political debates are right up there with Religion to me.  It doesn’t matter if I go to a building every Sunday and ‘pray’ to a picture because that’s what was shoved down my throat for years.  Who said that in order to believe in God* I had to give my hard earned dandelion-picking money in the over sided bowl-plate that was passed around?  I’m perfectly capable of believing in whatever I want to believe in and quite frankly I’m fairly certain God’s not going to judge me because I didn’t give my last $10 bucks to help Preacher Dan build his redwood deck. 

So – you now know that I don’t debate. 

But, I have an itch and it needs to be scratched.

Did you hear about the $26 billion that was approved to aid states and school districts to help prevent layoffs?  If you did, that’s nice – not my point.  You can read here about it – and probably anywhere that says “News”, “National News”, “Pissed off People” or whatever.  So I’m listening to my news anchor (whom I firmly believe he sits behind his desk and gives himself blow jobs to hype himself up – yeah, he’s that pompous) tell his audience that the House just passed $26 billion to help aid the states and school districts in preventing future layoffs etc…  Now I don’t know all of the facts.  I don’t care.  BUT what pissed me off so bad that has had me stewing since Tuesday evening, was the comment out of one House Representatives mouth.

John A. Boehner of Ohio stated, “We are broke … we do not have the money to bail out the states.  It’s time for them to get their arms round their problems and not look to Washington to bail them out.”

Shut up.  I’m not picking on him – for fucks sake our state senator spends his recreational time in the men’s bathroom trying to recruit pee pee suckers. 

But I am flabbergasted at the, “Hey, I have a job, not my problem that all of our 50 states are drowning in debt” attitude that exudes from his tightwad mouth.  So, Mr. Representative and all Representatives for that matter, how about you trade with the Nation’s Teachers and emergency and law enforcement employees?  You give up your SELF FUCKING VOTED INCOME** at a median average of $174,000 per year and trade it to the deserved (Did you miss that?  I said DESERVED) teachers, soldiers, police officers, firefighters and paramedics.  You can’t do that can you?  Why not?  I would wait for an answer on this, except I’ll be dead by the time they could scramble and come up with a bullshit reason as to why they think they deserve such an absurd amount of money. 

I send my son to school everyday to sit at a desk and learn all about reading, writing, arithmetic, science, history, character, honesty, integrity, playing nicely, being respectful etc., and the men and women who stand up in front of these classes and guide our children to be the best they can be, who spend countless hours mentoring these kids; whom are ultimately responsible for our future – get the, “Not my problem” line from the House of Fucktards sitting in D.C. when shit gets thick. 

You’re right.  Lets layoff all of our important mentors and protectors and let everyone fend for themselves.  After all, we don’t need our law enforcement or our teachers.  Let’s just all start homeschooling our kids and give everyone a badge then we can walk around like Barney fucking Fife handing out our own citations to criminals.  And when there is a car accident, I’ll call the House of Representatives and ask them if they can send a bus to I-84 and perform CPR on the man who is lying on the side of the road.  We don’t need any authority or protection or guidance.  Training is overrated.  Instead, lets depend on Tom, Dick and Harry who are paid the big bucks to dictate what’s “good for us”.  Sorry teachers, it’s nice that you LOVE your job, but you aren’t important anymore – Daddy needs a prostitute – so, sucks to be you, I hear McDonalds is hiring.

Are you kidding me?

My nephew is enrolling into the military when he graduates high school next year.  What’s my point?  HE WAS SEVEN FUCKING YEARS OLD WHEN BUSH DECLARED WAR.  That’s my point.  But yet the brave men and women who are risking their lives over there are given a whopping $26k a year.  Infantry. E1 status.  So, Representatives, how do you feel about dressing down and flying over to Afghanistan and taking a bullet for your country?  These men and women have more balls than you do on your BEST day.  Their families support them, their Nation supports them and yet you get to sit in your cushy chair in the big room with a bunch of other stiff heads and dictate their destiny, all while cashing in your un-deserved paycheck. Pound sand.

As per my disclaimer above: I don’t debate.  If you disagree with me, you are entitled to.  You don’t have to agree with me.  I don’t care.  I don’t vote because of Elephants or Donkeys.  I vote on ISSUES.  My issue is the highly paid politicians out there.  They need to take a step back and get on their knees (like most of them are used to doing) and thank the public for our contribution to their paycheck.  They don’t deserve it. 

And to all the Teachers, Police Officers, Paramedics, Firefighters and Troops …

*In no way shape or form do I think my religious beliefs are superior to yours.  So don’t email me or comment to me about it – if you do, you’ve missed the entire point of this rant.

** Information regarding Pay Raises in Congress was for point only.  I should probably tell you that this fiscal year and next, Congress has decided to NOT give themselves pay raises based on the deficit.  I should recant my rant but I’m not going to.  When they all give up their 6-figure income and join the rest of the Nation’s median income, I might shut up.  


  1. Very well said Spanky. Very proud of you and I know your dear old daddy would be proud his soul.

  2. Well said... and Im so with you on the rarely discussing politics. Or religion.

  3. You know what we should do is start a discussion on religion that only those who hate discussing religion can participate in. I bet it would be widely successful and we could ride it all the way to the bank and build our own decks!

  4. Zoe: I feel TONS better!

    Hanta: Thank you, I would apologize for offending anyone, but then I'd have to write a blog about it and I just don't want to.

    MMH: See? Some things are just better that way.

    Single Dad: I love the way you think! Seriously.

  5. Maybe my first comment shouldn't be on this post (since I am pretty much immersed in the political, just short of running for office if I ever decide I want to tell people how old I am)....

    Nope, I totally get it. I'm sick of Washington. I'm sick of news. I'm sick of hearing about how "broke" we are while our elected officials take lavish vacations at our expense while we struggle to put food on the table.

  6. BFG: I thought that was a well written 'first comment'. Not that you need my approval. And also not because you agree with me to some extent.


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