It's got to be the shoes

Maybe my goal isn't a realistic goal. Maybe I set my standards too high. I'm thinking I should have set a more reasonable achievement, like "I will not eat any chocolate, except on Tuesdays". But this whole psycho babble about completing a full mile in 5 weeks is absolutely absurd. I must have been tapping into my guilty conscience since eating those 7 cookies...thinking I had to "punish" myself by running a mile. It's not just the fact that I look completely ridiculous, but I truly think that some people were not meant to run.

I've thought that I've been going about it all wrong - but I've actually been taking this pretty seriously. I learned that my knees are whacked out because I'm not actually overpronate, but underpronate (I walk on the outsides of my feet) and the nifty shoes I purchased are doing me absolutely no favors. I also learned that there is proper form. It takes a tremendous amount of concentration (for me) to keep my head up, shoulders square, arms at 90 degrees and remember to push off the balls of my feet. How do I know if I'm even doing those things properly? It's not like I can carry a full-length mirror around with me to check my "form".

The other reasoning behind my madness is, if the contestants of the Biggest Loser can run marathons, then I surely should be able to complete a flippen mile! It's RUNNING! I did this daily as a child. I loved running. I had pretend Olympic competitions when I was little. I was the World's Fastest Runner! What the hell happened? Is there some clause I don't know about? Did I miss the fine print in the "Life After 30 Manual"? There is definitely something I am missing. Something simple probably, like I forgot to squat 3 times and chant "I am a good runner".

Hey - it's worth trying.

Day 2 of Goal

I made a goal a couple of days ago and this is going to be a long 5 weeks if I can't manage to get my tooshy in gear. Yesterday was a true test of my agility and skill. Not really, but sprinklers are scary when you aren't expecting them and a 1/2 mile into my walk they all went off. I sprinted, yes, sprinted through the sprinklers trying desperately to protect my iPod. Did I mention I picked yesterday to wear a white t-shirt? For real, I don't make this stuff up. So yes, back to my agility, I was quite proud of the fact that I managed to sprint from my subdivision to the opening of the next subdivision (roughly 1/4 mile) without injuring myself. Of course I had to back track to find my lungs and my breakfast but dammit I sprinted!

I wasn't very successful the rest of my walk/run. My computerized coach from my Nike+ program is advising me to run 1 min, walk 5, run 5 min, walk 15 etc. I can tell you that never, ever, in the 4 months I've been trying, have I been able to run 5 solid minutes. I'm almost positive it's all mental - but for some reason everything falls apart on me when I start running. And let me just clarify, it's not really "running" it's more of an "old lady shuffle" but fast. I can't keep my earphones in my ears, my iPod cord flaps around too much, my shorts ride right up my thighs and I spend more time farting around with my gear than I do focusing on what's in front of me. I was sporting two knee braces because I don't have proper shoes and my knees are killing me and this car full of punk teenagers yelled out their window "Run Forest....RUN!" So I'm wet (soaked really), carrying my earphones in my hands to protect them, pulling my shorts out of my thunder thighs and embarrassed as hell because I was just referred to as Forest Gump!

I've been researching various websites and forums trying to find suggestions on how to focus and so far most of the people that are running aren't near as A.D.D. as I am. I see posts on how to control breathing, or avoid shin splints, or up their pace...but NOTHING on how to keep your earphones in and prevent your shorts from becoming g-strings. Lord help me if I'm going to complete this ridiculous goal.