Monday, January 4, 2010

Happy New Year

What to say, what to say. Well it’s the beginning of a New Year and I suppose I should be like any other typical human being and list out the impossible “New Years Resolutions” that people do. You know… lose weight, eat healthier, create world peace, and adopt a pet. However, as many times as I try, I am never able to stick to my New Years Resolutions. So this year I’ve decided to stick with something simple. Ready? My New Years Resolution is to “BE MORE CAREFUL”. It’s no secret that I am accident-prone, so this seems like a logical choice to make in selecting my resolution for the New Year.

The Sunday before Christmas my fiancé and I were invited up to a friends cabin for some sledding, snowmobiling and fun. Of course we will go! I had ‘never-worn before’ gear - which I had purchased two years ago for such an occasion. I am an adrenaline junkie and I love going fast, so naturally I was excited to see the massive hill that was nicely groomed just for sledding purposes. The company I was with thought it to be a good idea if we made a jump for the sleds, that way we could not only possibly break our necks, but also do it while drinking Hot Buttered Rums! So there I sat next to my friend, sipping on my 2000 calorie drink and observing the men grunt and applaud their sled-jump efforts. Video was being taken, pictures were being snapped and drunken cheers were coming from those of us who weren’t yet intoxicated enough to attempt the potential body cast that would result in one wrong landing.

Finally, my fiancé and my best friend were encouraging me to give it a shot. Oh what the hell, why not – right? I’m warm, feeling fuzzy, absolutely cannot let a bunch of boys show me up and besides, girls can do anything boys can do right? I climbed the hill, positioned my waxed - Styrofoam sled between my legs and squatted down. My new gear, as fashionable as it was, didn’t exactly allow me to perform as gracefully as I would have liked, but I managed to let my legs go and have my hiney cushion the blow onto the sled. One of the boys stayed on top of the hill to guide me in my sled steering and give me a bit of a push. And off I went, twisting, turning, snow flying everywhere, the jump is getting closer and closer – my heart is racing and without missing a beat the words just flowed out of my mouth, “F*ck, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck, F*CK!!!” Tttthhhhwop!!!! I hit the jump, maybe cleared about 3 inches off the ground, landed on my tooshy and watched my sled make its way down the rest of the hill without me. That’s it? That’s what I was nervous about? Shoot, get me back up there; I can do better than that! So I did, four more times, with each jump getting easier and easier and still not able to clear the amount of air that the boys were doing. But I did it! I didn’t wuss out, I proved my point, and I played the same game and accomplished a huge feat!

The rest of our day consisted of snowmobiling (in which I apparently am not equipped to do as I spent most of the time falling off the machine rather than staying on), we found a 30-ft tree that ended up being butchered until there was practically nothing left, we drank copious amounts of hot-buttered rums and we finished the day tired, sore and content.

Fast forward to the Sunday after Christmas. I spent the previous week complaining of a pinched nerve in my back, only to find out that my heroine experience on the sledding hill left me with a herniated disc and whiplash. Yes, a hospital emergency room visit, x-rays, MRI’s, 2 doses of Valium and 2 doses of painkillers later, and I am completely immobile. For the last 9 days, I have been sentenced to my recliner with no ability to move my neck, my arm or my back. I rang in the New Year with a donut pillow, muscle-relaxers, painkillers and a bruised ego.

This is the reason why I have chosen my New Years Resolution to be “more careful”. I have learned in these last 9 days, that an injury (albeit repairable) as frustrating as this is a valuable lesson. I don’t do well with being ordered around, I am not the type of person that wishes to rely on others, and I’m not a patient woman. All of these quirks have been tested and therefore it is pretty apparent that this is the only body I’m going to get. I can’t trade it in for a new one. I can’t upgrade for a newer model, and if I abuse what has been given to me, I’m responsible for the outcome. I may not be as lucky next time.

Happy New Year Everyone! I wish everyone good health and great happiness for this New Year.

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